Examples of prohibited game-day simulations

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Yeah, so Tennessee recently self-reported two secondary recruiting violations for using a fog machine as a recruit entered the football field and for putting on a mock press conference at the media center. See, NCAA Bylaw 13.6.7.9 provides that schools “may not permit a prospective student athlete to engage in any game-day simulations . . . during an official visit.” Yeahbut . . . Tennessee doesn’t use fog machines on game day. And do they even have press conferences on Saturdays? Aren’t those usually during the week?

For the record, I am in full support of this rule, provided that the NCAA publishes some more specific guidelines to assist coaches in interpreting the blasted thing. To get them started, here is just a partial list of examples of game-day simulations that coaches should avoid:

• Pretending that you are losing in the Swamp 59-20.
• Pretending to fumble in the red or danger zone, especially at the goal line.
• Showing replays of losses to Wyoming on the JumboTron while calling out a recruit’s name in a mock voice-over, e.g., “Nu’Keese Richardson is crying on the sidelines as Cowboy fans tear down the goalposts at Neyland Stadium! [CROWD NOISE!!!]”
• Piping in audio of Alabama fans singing “WEJUSTBEATTHEHELLOUTTAYOU!” in Neyland Stadium.
• Booing the recruits as they engage in any of the above prohibited activities.

That’s just a partial list. Perhaps y’all could come up with some more?