Now Finebaum Says Boot Vandy Out… Blah, Blah, Blah

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Yesterday, I compared Mike Bianchi of The Orlando Sentinel to The Mobile Press-Register’s (and radio’s) Paul Finebaum.  I wrote that Bianchi has learned that making any surprising declaration will drive webhits… or generate calls for your radio show, as the case may be.

Little did I know that Jerry Springer, er, I mean Finebaum, would follow Bianchi’s “boot Vandy from the SEC” column with one of his own. 

First, Finebaum takes issue with Bobby Johnson’s mid-July retirement.  Okay, I’m good with that.  The guy did just up and quit with no real reason given, leaving coaches and players to deal with the aftermath.

But then Finebaum rips into Robbie Caldwell for his countrified performance at Media Days.  “… If I wanted to see Jerry Clower, I’d pop in an old DVD of “Hee-Haw” and sit back on the couch with a bottle of RC Cola and a Moon Pie.  And besides, if you’re the Vanderbilt head coach, shouldn’t you at least try to give off the appearance you could have been admitted to the school as a student?  I found the whole presentation insulting, not only to a great academic institution like Vanderbilt, but to the SEC as well.”

If you’ve ever heard some of the miscreants and crackpots who make up Finebaum’s roster of regular radio callers, you’re probably just as surprised as I am to learn that he feels bad presentations are insulting.  If that’s the case, I’ve been insulted by his show every time I’ve heard it. 

Question: Why does it make a radio host in Alabama ANGRY that a guy showed some personality in a press conference.  “If I wanted to see Jerry Clower,” he sneered.  Well, if I wanted to get mad about something, I’d probably focus my attention on the lack of political discourse in our country.  Or something truly important like the genocide in Darfur.  Or saving the spotted owl.  But an interim coach acting like a character from Mayberry?  That’s what outrages Finebaum?

I’m not sure why anyone would take shots at Caldwell unless he’s — oh, yeah! — out to take shots at anyone in an effort to drive webhits and radio calls.

Finebaum continues his piece by saying that Vandy doesn’t even try in football.  That they wiped out their athletic department.  And that they are only in the SEC because of their academics.  Been there, heard that.  Many times.

“In this new era of college football, it’s time to get serious and Vanderbilt simply doesn’t belong nor can it ever hang with the rest of the SEC. … Oh, you say, Vanderbilt went to a bowl game in 2008 for the first time in 26 years.  What good did it do them?  They didn’t even win a conference game the next year and now they have Larry the Cable Guy coaching.”

Another smart aleck shot at Caldwell just for the sake of taking another sarcastic shot, apparently.

“So enough already,” Finebaum writes.  “Let me be the first to make a motion for the SEC to begin proceedings to dump Vanderbilt.  Would anyone like to second the motion?”

Paul, Bianchi beat you to that by a couple of days.



Seeing as how I got a zillion emails back in June from SEC fans who didn’t want to see their league get any tougher through expansion, I wonder who out there wants to trade a likely football win over Vandy each year for a tougher game with someone else.  Anyone want to second that motion?

I’m no Vandy guy, but I get sick of people trying to stir controversy by suggesting that some school in the SEC should be dumped.  Finebaum would expel Vandy, Arkansas and South Carolina if we’re to believe what he’s written and said this summer.

Hell, why stop there?  Kentucky and Ole Miss have never been to an SEC Championship Game.  Now UK brings good basketball, so they’re safe.  But how has Ole Miss been any better than Arkansas or South Carolina over the past 20 years?  They don’t even have an on-field mascot!  Dump ‘em.

And Mississippi State?  They reached Atlanta more than a decade ago, but they promptly lost.  Also, MSU and Ole Miss actually spend less on athletics than the Commodores who famously have no athletic department.  So I guess we need to dump the Bulldogs, too.

That’s five schools evicted.  That’ll clear the way for Mike Slive to bring in Texas, Notre Dame, Florida State, Southern Cal (who wouldn’t want Lane Kiffin back) and Ohio State. 

Now wouldn’t that be fun?

I find it interesting that columnists and talk show hosts have more problems with Vanderbilt than any rival coaches, rival presidents or SEC officials.  If folks around the conference aren’t outraged, then why are guys like Finebaum and Bianchi so angry, so insulted by all things Vandy?

Maybe because they could care less in reality… but they know very well how to drive webhits and radio calls.