With an empty house this past weekend I took in about 14 hours of college football and am handing out grades to those who share their football wisdom with the viewers.
Verne & Danielson: A++ There’s a reason why these two get the best game each Saturday at 3:30. Combine Verne’s grandfatherly voice with Danielson’s ability to pick up and articulate bits of in-game information that’s invisible to most of watching at home makes this combo untouchable.
Musburger & Herbie: A+ Almost a clone to the pair mentioned above I just can’t give a second + sign that doesn’t exist in the first place. Jay Bilas, for the first time in his life, would say both these broadcasting teams have reached their “tremendous upside potential.”
Fowler & Davis: A Both playing quarterback on Saturday’s for their respective teams these two never fail. Fowler’s the best host college football has ever had, and Davis is amazing considering the players he’s got to coach every Saturday.
Erin Andrews: A It’s Erin Andrews. She could stop Nick Saban while he’s running towards the locker room after a bad half and ask him how to solve world peace and he’d at least try to come up with an answer. After three seconds he’d cuss her out and give her the stinkeye and EA would carry on like Saban just asked her to marry him.
Samantha Steele: B+ Not quite Erin Andrews 2.0, the fantastic porn name gives her the plus. With a name like that I suggest chasing John Brantley into the locker room against UK to check on his injury isn’t the best play. Now if we can get her to do an interview with John Holmes – now known as J.B. Holmes – about life on the PGA tour she automatically moves into A+++ territory.
Jesse Palmer: B+ Palmer’s really starting to shine and isn’t afraid to throw his opinion around. Even rocking the Lloyd Christmas ultra-tight suit and mid-80’s skinny tie, Palmer’s going to be talking about college football on ESPN for a very long time and that “suits” me just fine.
Derek Dooley: B+ He’s funny and good. Dooley’s Southern Comfort and Laney Boy’s Southern California.
David Pollack: B Not in the same league as his buddy Palmer.
Tim Brando: D The “Fly in the Ointment” died a few years ago.
May and Holtz: D- The Dr. Lou segment and the infatuation with Notre Dame is bad. He still thinks they can win 20 games this year is worse. Mark May spending 80% of his air time talking about offensive lineman is like taking 29 Ambien. The entire Courtroom skit has me throwing cushions off my couch to find the remote.
Spencer Tillman: F While Tillman isn’t bad on set – somewhere in the 70’s – any man who wears copious amounts of mascara, eyeliner and sheen in his hair gets downgraded. The sixth Jackson family member really does exist.
Lee Corso: Incomplete. I love Corso to death since he’s been with us since the creation of CGD, but if Auburn’s eagle swooped down and plucked Corso off the set would viewers at home even notice?