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Originally posted after the Jacksonville State loss, I thought this post has taken on a new relevance following the disaster in Knoxville. From the sound of Nutt’s press conference yesterday he definitely bought in to No. 1. FOR THE RECORD, I’m not a “fire Nutt” proponent – yet.
Top 10 Ways Houston Nutt Can Survive 2010:
1. Start calling it “A rebuilding year”. Does wonders for expectations. Of course, after Saturday, they’re already pretty low. You may need to add a fresh spin to it. Perhaps, “We knew coming into this year, it was going to be a rebuilding year.” If you act like you saw this coming it makes you sound more in control. First year coaches do it all the time. You’re in year three. It still could work.
2. Develop a sudden illness. Nobody can get fired for having an illness. It’s pretty classless, but it could work. Actually, now that I think about it, scratch that. Philip Fulmer became the Tennessee head coach after Johnny Majors had a “sudden illness”. This plan may be risky.
3. Pretend you’re getting offers from other BCS schools. This somehow has the effect of getting a new contract and a raise, though it hasn’t been tested in a year with losses to J-State and Vandy, it’s crazy enough that it just might work.
4. Develop a catchy slogan. Chopping wood. Climbing to the top. Something. Anything other than, “We’ve just got to make more plays.” Not catchy. If you can find a slogan catchy enough and say it over and over again until other people start saying it, you might be seen as a motivator or even inspirational. A catchy slogan is just what you need when your team is really bad. Just ask Dan Mullen.
5. Give up your salary for the rest of 2010. Donate it to the University. No coach can get fired the same year he donates a million dollars to his own school. You can’t need the money. You’ve already made a bunch. Let’s be honest, you haven’t exactly earned it this month. Maybe just September’s salary? Joe Paterno still hasn’t been fired and I’m convinced it’s because he’s donated so much money to Penn State. I think the library is named after the guy. Consider it.
6. Buy a house next door to either Dan Jones or Pete Boone. You can’t fire your neighbor. Can you imagine how awkward that would be? (Morning, Pete. Morning Nutt? How’s the job search going? Very awkward.) Come to think of it, at 3 million a year, you could buy a house next to both of them…
7. Do you have any kids old enough to get married? Perhaps you could marry one of them to a Boone or a Jones kid? Can’t fire a new in-law, either.
8. Fire the offensive coordinator. Never mind. Won’t work. You call the plays.
9. Try to find an All-American, Heisman type quarterback to transfer to Ole Miss and get him to play this year. What? You already did that? Dang. This is going to be harder than I thought.
10. Beat State.