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It’s Week 14… also known as “Championship Week!” The conferences that have championship games will be staging them, and the conferences that don’t have championship games will still have their champions decided this week… hence the moniker. And, in the midst of all this Championship Week celebration, the Georgia Bulldogs and their fans will be…
Well, then. Moving along…
I normally post this segment on Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening, but I was beset with some kind of odd viral illness that both kept me from attending the game and from doing much of anything this weekend other than lying in bed drooling and reading one of the greatest 19th century novels of all time on my Kindle. As a result, I was unable to post my weekly missive in a timely manner. I do apologize for the tardiness.
I’m from the “Better late than never” camp, though, when it comes to turning in homework… so I’m letting the following people know that, for Championship Week, You’re on notice, dawg!
This week’s honorees (in no particular order), are:
1) Michael Adams – Why Michael Adams? Because he’s a jerk, has stolen money from and is a disaster for University, and everybody that has ever worked with him hates him. Plus, I have it from a very authoritative source inside the UGA administration that he spent the entire 24 hours after the Georgia Tech game in the futile pursuit of garnering an invitation to either the International Bowl (in Toronto) or the Pinstripe Bowl (in NYC). He was overheard to have said loudly, “But I can’t stand comfortable weather in December! I want to see some snow, dangit!”
2) The Yellow Jacket Juke – There has been some disagreement regarding the proper tactical response to this play. I must admit that, for my part, I also considered the term, “Bumblebee Belly-flop” when naming this maneuver, but I wanted to make sure I respected the Techsters by using the correct nomenclature to refer to their mascot.
With about 1:40 left in the game, Georgia took the sportsmanship route and kneeled the ball on the Golden Tornado 20-yard-line. Paul Johnson immediately used his last timeout to stop the clock, and the Georgia bench responded by saying, “Ok, you want to call a timeout? We’ll just go ahead and score, then.” The Georgia Tech defense then performed their version of the Florida Flop.
Tactically, it might have been a sound play. Of course, tactically, it might also have been a sound play to get Washaun Ealey to run 10 yards and take a knee. Of course, tactically, it was probably also the correct call for Han Solo to bribe Greedo instead of shooting him first (which he did). But men don’t do these things. Men say, “You want me to score? Thank you. I will then go for two, followed by an onside kick, both of which I will successfully convert. Then I will score another touchdown before the game ends.” Personally, I think we let them off too easy by just scoring one touchdown.
I feel strangely compelled to post this picture now.
But, then again, I was confident in our victory Saturday night. In fact, throughout the entire game, I was supremely confident that the Bulldogs would come out victorious. From the moment Georgia muffed the opening kickoff over to Tech to the moment Georgia scored a touchdown in the 4th quarter and our fans started shouting, “What the **** is he doing?” I was supremely confident. As soon as Georgia scored first, I told Mrs. VineyardDawg, “Well, that’s it. We’re going to win!” and never looked back. Even when the game got really close near the end, I never wavered in my supreme faith that Georgia would finally win their first close game in 2010.*
* – These statements are such huge lies that, while typing them, my pants spontaneously combusted and my nose started growing at the same time.
3) The contact lenses worn by the ACC officiating crew in Sanford Stadium – I have a couple of friends who referee games in sports other than football, and out of respect for them, I will not poor-mouth the officials in charge of Saturday night’s game. The contact lenses those referees were wearing, though, left a lot to be desired in their work.
I know the referees can only perform as well as their equipment allows them to, so I want to know what exactly those contact lenses were doing in the 2nd quarter when, on a 3rd down play, Kris Durham clearly landed on the 4 yard line, only to have the referees spot the ball a good 2 feet short of where he actually landed. Then, on the ensuing 4th & about a foot play, Aaron Murray performed a QB sneak that gained at least a yard, and the ball was spotted by the referees virtually right on top of the line of scrimmage.
I found it also very interesting that the ESPN telecast showed exactly zero replays of both of these downs. Perhaps the referees and the ESPN crew were sharing a pair of contact lenses between them? And while we’re talking about ESPN…
4) ESPN – A company that calls itself the “Worldwide Leader in Sports” should seriously be able to do a better job at producing the games that we see week in and week out. I mean, it’s better than Fox Sports’ BCS coverage, but if that ain’t damning with faint praise, I don’t know what is. The pictures are fantastic and awesome and poppin’ fresh and all that, but some of us like to hear words that, you know, make sense to go with the pictures.
And, to be fair, there’s a fairly large drop-off from their best two broadcast teams to the likes of Mark Jones and Bob Davie. But when a play-by-play announcer calls Bacarri
Fudge Rambo “one of the most improved players they’ve had on defense this year,” he’s either talking about Georgia Tech or he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. And then they don’t even talk about major plays that, you know, were in dispute, and you know, could have completely changed the outcome of the game. But, no, I’m sure there’s some witty remark you could be bringing up instead about your years at Notre Dame that’s far more important right now.
Step it up, Worldwide Leader. You can do better.
5) The South Carolina Gamecocks – Great job in dispatching an inferior ACC rival. Now come on boys. (crosses fingers) We believe in you… you can do it!
(Ok, so maybe we don’t necessarily believe you can do it. We will be cheering for you, though, when this Saturday rolls around, so please go out there and ruin
Cheater Auburn University’s dream season -to-be-vacated, ok?)
6) The Boise State Broncos – Damn. Just damn. You guys couldn’t do us just this one solid, could you? I hope we beat you little kids by about 50 next year (though I know you’re just as likely to beat us). And I’m laughing right now that all the “Big Boys” in your new “Big Boy Conference” have officially deserted you. Enjoy your new WAC, Broncos.
See ya real soon.
7) The SMU Mustangs – I know it’s equally likely (possibly more so) that we we end up paired off in the Liberty Bowl with the Golden Knights of the University of Central Florida. I’m far more interested, though, in the ramifications of matching up with the Mustangs from Dallas.
You see, this would be a great matchup for us. Not only have we had a significant amount of experience in beating programs who are huge historical cheaters (4 out of the last 5 years, in fact), but we also have some recent experience in beating very successful teams who are coached by June Jones.
Ok, I admit that I only added SMU so I could post this picture. Excuse me for a moment while I lose myself in a happier time…
8) Students with Tickets – By the time the TV cameras panned up to the student section in the 2nd quarter, I patted myself on the back somewhat, because the student section looked about 75% full, which is not great, but good, and I like to think I had some small part in that effort. Then Josh Weiss has to go and post the following picture, which quite clearly shows upper deck student section as being 90% empty, and about 5 minutes before the team actually ran onto the field. (You might have to click on the picture to see the full-size version.)
For shame, UGA students… for shame. I might have expected (and received) a turnout like this for Idaho State, or Vanderbilt… but in the season ender against Georgia Tech? That’s just inexcusable.
I know many students will wail and gnash their teeth when Greg McGarity reduces the size of the student section by about 50% in 2011… but if he does so, you have no one to blame but yourselves.
Well, we’re done until bowl season rolls around, but until then I’ll be looking forward to an improved 2011 and yelling…